As you might have noticed from my earlier posts, I am angry. I am angry at myself, I am angry at the world, I am angry at a lot of things. My biggest problem though, bigger then everything else, is that I am never angry. Got you there didn’t I? Let me explain.
You won’t notice anything about me in real life. I can walk past you like all the thousands of other people. You won’t notice me. I keep my head up, and I walk. I won’t look you in your eyes, I would glace right through you. You see, emotions are not really my forte. I like to keep them inside, hidden from the world. I’m perfectly fine in my little hamster-ball.
From a young age life slapped me in the face while showing my emotions. First as a kid with my parents. Later on in another incident with the rest of the family.
I was around 8 years old. Family reunion, jeeeeej.. fuck my life. Playing chest all day with my 150 year old grandma as an 8 year old. I had better things to do. I had to paint houses with permanent marker, i had to take away the toys from my little cousins, but no.. I was playing chest all day. Fine by me, I was an easy child. Put me in a chair, tell me not to move and I would still be sitting there if you forgot to pick me up.
Dinner time, finally! My aunt loved eggs. She ate like 5 of them in a few minutes, but she didn’t split them open on the table. No, she loved to make them split against my forehead. HA-HA-HA, the whole family is having fun. Fine by me.. I grab an egg, split it against her head to get it open (i’m talking about cooked eggs of course). The bitch stands up and gives me a full blown uppercut in the face and storms away.
Family Reunion had became a ruined family. But oh-no we’re forgetting to blame someone. Who should we blame? Bryan. Thanks family. I haven’t seen them since. Luckily I have my parents and my little brother. Love you guys.
And btw, for the first time in my life I have a place to throw all my emotions in one place.