Another secret for my GF.. I need help!

/ 10 January 2015

I started this blog because I needed a place for the emotions I couldn’t show in ‘real’ life. I wasn’t happy with myself because there were so many lies. Writing about them makes me feel better. Even though I don’t know any of you, I feel like I’m somewhat becoming a better person.

I know it sounds weird, but I’ve lied my whole life, and I’ve never opened up to someone. I know it means I’ve still lied to all those girls, but you gotta start somewhere right?

In my pursuit of becoming a better person, I’m already making it worse. My girlfriend is suspicious because I’m constantly on my phone. I’m not talking to other girls, but she doesn’t know that. I don’t blame her for thinking that because, come on.. we all know me. I’m replying on reactions to my blog because I’m excited when somebody replies on my posts. I’m in a weird place right now, and I feel like I have 2 choices.

  1. Tell her about my blog. This means I can only write stories which doesn’t involve her. That’s not a problem, I’ve done plenty of shit, but if I feel something, or I am confused, I want to write about it. Especially when it’s about my current situation. That wouldn’t be an option any more. It would give me more space, because I can posts things on my blogs while she’s here, and I don’t have to be secretive about it. I couldn’t post anything to day because she spent the day here. I think if i’m going for this option, the whole point of me writing this blog is gone.
  2. Don’t tell her. Hope for the best and hope she won’t find out. This means I’m able to write about everything that bothers me, but will always keep me on the lookout whenever she’s on my PC, or on my phone.
  3. Break up with her. Speaks for itself I guess..

I want my blog to be my outlet valve. Write about all the shit I’ve done, all the shit I’m doing, and probably all the shit I’m about to do. I know it’s just a matter of fact before she stumbles on my twitter account on my phone, which leads to my blog. I don’t want to break up with her though, and I most certainly don’t want this blog to become a dime a dozen (if I choose to keep the stuff out I don’t want anybody in my life to read)

What do you guys think?

Related posts

63 thoughts on “Another secret for my GF.. I need help!”

      • My husband doesn’t read my confessionalist style blog. I admit sometimes I fear he will. He actually does know about a second blog I have … And doesn’t read it. Perhaps your GF just won’t give a shit either.

        Like

      • She told me she doesn’t like the thought about me talking negative things about her. My blog is not really positive ofcourse, so if I talk about her it’s probably because shit hit the fan, not because I’m on a big pink cloud..

        Like

      • Is it the thought of you sharing negative things or the thought that you have negative things to share? Just a thought. 😉

        Like

  2. Tell her. Be honest. If you’re feeling that you’re becoming a better person then this is the right thing. Otherwise you’ll end up doing shit like before. If she loves you, she will understand your blog and you and she’ll trust you.

    Like

    Reply

    • Yes, but then the value of this blog, to me personally, is gone. Writing this blog works therapeutic for me. It’s like my personal diary… online.. for everyone to read.. except the people who really care about me haha. That’s messed up

      Like

      Reply

      • Can’t you tell her that? I think she should understand. I struggled with telling about my blog but anyways sooner or later they find out. You can make your blog private in the options, so just your followers can read it. This would protect you from being read by her, but you could show her that the blog exists.

        Like

      • You know you’re good at playing with words to calm girls down 🙂 find an excuse, you did it so many times, you can do it now 😀

        Like

  4. You say you want to stop lying, be a better person? Here is where you start. Tell her that you are blogging for personal, therapeutic reasons. Tell her the truth – you are writing about past events that are painful and embarassing in an effort to grow. Tell her that you prefer to keep it private for now. If you are comfortable, promise her that before you post about her, she can read it. That’s a very common thing here. Many bloggers have understandings that the lover can only read the posts about themselves. Use your words, tell the truth. It all starts with the first step. She will probably surprise you.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  5. I’ve read your previous posts and some of the stuff you’re dealing with feels very familiar to me, like the thrill of the chase followed by the emptiness of the catch (though the details are very, very different!). In my case, I found that I didn’t really know myself, and until I did, I had no idea what I wanted – I just had just a vague sense of dissatisfaction with what I did have. I also had low self-esteem (for me, the roots go back to my childhood) and was trying to use external validation to increase my feeling of self-worth. But that doesn’t actually fix anything.

    So, what to do about the girlfriend and the blog? I think you’re on the right track with trying to honest with yourself, and this blog is part of that. (Hell, that’s how I use my own blog!) I’d suggest some honesty with her about the blog – maybe tell her that you just started the blog as a personal diary to explore issues that you’re not comfortable discussing with anyone, and it’s really new and you’re kinda hooked on it at the moment. She might be super curious, in which case you tell her that you’re not ready to share this right now, and you hope she’ll respect that. Or maybe she’ll shrug and say OK, and it won’t be any big deal. Best of luck 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. I’ve read your previous posts and some of the stuff you’re dealing with feels very familiar to me, like the thrill of the chase followed by the emptiness of the catch (though the details are very, very different!). In my case, I found that I didn’t really know myself, and until I did, I had no idea what I wanted – I just had just a vague sense of dissatisfaction with what I did have. I also had low self-esteem (for me, the roots go back to my childhood) and was trying to use external validation to increase my feeling of self-worth. But that doesn’t actually fix anything.

    I think you’re on the right track with trying to honest with yourself, and this blog is part of that. (Hell, that’s how I use my own blog!) Tell her that you just started the blog as a personal diary to explore issues that you’re not comfortable discussing with anyone, and it’s really new and you’re kinda hooked on it at the moment. She might be super curious, in which case you tell her that you’re not comfortable with sharing this right now and you hope she’ll respect that. Or maybe she’ll shrug and say OK, and it won’t be any big deal. Best of luck 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  7. I hope the very best for you. If u do decide to tell her, she should understand if she’s open minded and understands the reason behind it. I view the blog as a healthy way for you to vent-keep going at it! If she doesn’t get it then she is not worth your time. Keep us updated.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      • Hmm, then perhaps the best thing is to not tell her. Being a female who struggles to trust those I am in a relationship with, I can tell you that she won’t let it go. It will nag at her and nag at her and she’ll probably snoop.

        It’s really up to you what you should do, but don’t break up with her over it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • …she’s a tough cookie isn’t she? Haha.

        What if you keep it from her and if she finds out, mention how it’s for therapeutic reasons and it was meant to be for your eyes only?

        Does she know about your…ah…past?

        Like

      • Yes she knows about my past. Thats probably why she’s so snoopy haha. And yes she is a cookie. Not tuff though. More really scared to get hurt. I could do that, but then I still have to look out about what i write..

        Like

      • That would explain why she’s snoopy. Hmm…do you see her causing a massive problem if you do write about her? If you don’t mention her name, then it shouldn’t be a problem.

        Like

      • True. Well, it’s quite the predicament you have here…

        What do you think you should do? If you keep it from her, she’ll snoop until she finds out. If you tell her, she’ll want to read it anyway. If you leave her, you won’t have her. :/

        Like

      • That’s 100% true. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her though, that’s for sure! Maybe i’ll just tell her I keep an online diary. Or only check wordpress and stuff when she’s not around.

        Like

  9. I think you do whatever you have to keep the blog, and to keep writing. My blog is my outlet, and I feel so much better now that I have it. I don’t keep it a secret, but regardless of anything else, keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      • Also, I don’t really know you, so I hooe this doesnt offend you…. but here you are saying you can get on your twitter account on your phone, and that leads to the blog. Anytime she’s going to figure that out. You also say, you just can’t help to want to talk to your readers in front of her, even though its probably making your girl suspicious. To me, it seems like a part of you is extremely excited that theres that litte” I might get caught” thrill. So I wonder if thats actually one of the reasons you love it so much, because you know you could get busted but the high you get from writing, then people reading it and talking about it, is pretty fucking good. Throw in a little suspense about getting caught and it sounds like a total turn on.

        Like

  10. you are still young. I feel like if you can’t tell your girlfriend, you shouldn’t be with her. If I couldn’t share everything with my bf I wouldn’t see it a point of going out with him. And I’m lucky he actually loves all of me good and bad. I think you could live a better life without secrets,Specially if you really love this girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. I totally understand this as my lover reads anything and everything he can access. I really don’t care as I have nothing to hide but it also keeps me from really working through some of my thoughts. The very reason I started my blog. I had another one I recently closed due to my oldest son coming across it. I definitely don’t need my 18 year old reading about my sex life.

    Like

    Reply

      • Start a new one. Trust me after letting my tumbler go stale due to knowing people who read it, I knew I had to move on. When I found out my current partner was reading every thing I wrote it took me awhile to get over (or be able to pretend he wasn’t) knowing every thing I wrote might be read. Its hard to write freely and not try to write just to him. But I figure he has read everything and now knows me better than anyone else so there is a plus side to it.

        Like

  12. Well.. You’re an asshole remember? Why not start another blog where you write only awesome things about her and act like you were hiding it from her..

    You keep writing some mushy short stuff about her.. She thinks you’re absolutely amazing while you write away how you boink other women behind her back?

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment