Sex tips #4 – Let’s explain foreplay

Let’s talk a little bit about foreplay. Foreplay is what we do to each other to get each other ready for sex. If I have an erection, that means I’m ready for sex, and I’m all fore-played out.

This post is inspired by legendary comedian Jim Jefferies. Here we go!

My job is to get an erection, your job is to get your hole wet. If I don’t get an erection I’m called impotent, but a dry hole is the same as a flassive penis. A dry hole, is an impotent hole, you’re not a complete women and you should be ashamed of yourself. But women don’t take responsibility for the dry hole. There are 2 situations.

1. If I fuck a chick and I don’t get an erection, she’ll go back to her friends and say: I fucked Bryan, he couldn’t even get an erection.
2. If I fuck a chick and she doesn’t get wet, she’ll go back to her friends and say: I fucked Bryan, he couldn’t even get me wet.

You see the problem here?

The foreplay that’s necessary for women goes like this. You gotta start by kissing them. Men don’t give a fuck about kissing. We kiss you, because we like you, and let’s be honest, we spoil you. We used to like kissing, when we were in our early teens.. but then somebody sucked our dick. Why am I kissing this person? Why would I ride the swings, when I’ve already been to Disney Land?

Then you start kissing in the neck. You’re slowly working down towards the cunt, but for some unbeknown reason you gotta act like you’re not going to the cunt. When you arrive at the cunt, you generally lick the whole cunt area. Then there is a spot at the top, and if you lick that, they seem to enjoy it. This all takes between 10 and 40 minutes, and she might be wet.

Let’s let Jim explain the foreplay that’s necessary for men.