So my mom is an alcoholic, and it really pisses me off. Of course she is in denial, but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
I love my mom, but she has a problem. Like I told before our family split up, so we have not a lot of people left. Of course my parents have some close friends, but it’s not like they see them every week. My dad has his own company, and really loves his job. He makes crazy ours from 08:00 till 22:00 every day, so my mom is alone all day. When she’s alone, she drinks. She hides the bottles, and my dad told me he finds at least 1 empty bottle of wine a day. My mom has kidney disease, so she shouldn’t be drinking in the first place. The medicines she takes get her totally shitfaced after just 1 glass. Imagine what a whole bottle will do.
When my mom drinks she becomes the most annoying person on the whole planet. Let me sketch it for you.
Mom: Bryan, when will you start your internship?
Me: In 3 weeks!
** Quiet for 2 minutes **
Mom: Bryan, did your internship start yet?
Me: ….. No mom, it starts in about 3 weeks.
** Quiet for 2 minutes **
Mom: Bryan, how is your internship?
Me: (getting really pissed off) It hasn’t started yet!!
** Quiet for 2 minutes **
Mom: Bryan, what about your internship? How is it?
Me: FOR FUCK SAKE MOM!!!! YOU ASKED 3 TIMES ALREADY!!
Mom: Wow Bryan, you don’t have to be mad, I was just asking….
** Quiet for 2 minutes **
Mom: Bryan, did you know Bryan is starting his internship? (She thinks she’s talking to my little brother)
Me: Mom, I am Bryan
Mom: Oh haha.
** Quiet for 2 minutes **
Mom: Bryan, tell something about your internship
Me: (FULL TILT MODE) ARE YOU DRUNK AGAIN??
Mom: Why would you say that? I only had 1 glass. **Crying**
Me: …………………………………………………………….
Imagine this, and then replace the **Quiet for 2 minutes** with other questions. She will tell me something about my little brother. Then she will tell it again. And again. I’m literally in full tilt mode after 10 minutes of talking to her.
My mom drinks one glass. Get’s drunk, forgot she already had 1 glass, and takes another glass. Forgot about those 2, get’s another. The most annoying thing is definitely the fact that she’s denying everything. I know this is a sign from addiction, but it’s soooooo frustrating. She won’t talk about it, ever. Not when she’s drunk, not when she’s sober and not when she’s hungover.
I’m so glad I have my own apartment. I feel sorry for my dad and little brother though.
Eat Sleep Fuck Repeat 
you do not have the easiest life do you?
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Nope!
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Wow, that sounds rough – for everyone. Has this been a problem for a long time?
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Uhm about 7 years now..
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My dad is an alcoholic. He is a super dick too. Yelling and screaming at anyone and everyone. My mom has so much anxiety over his out burst. She has left a few times but always goes back. So stupid.
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My mom is not violent, and she doesn’t get angry. She just can’t tell left from right when she’s drunk. little bit like a goldfish haha
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It is your Dad’s responsibility to get her help. I would suggest that as part of your growth into a mature, young man, you unite with your brother and sit your dad down to explain to him that he needs to take action. The action is talk to her doctor, make a plan with him and then your dad needs to get your mom into rehab. This is a huge adult issue, so think about it.
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What if your dad is the doctor?
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Then he should be ashamed of himself. He knows what he needs to do and if he loves her and his family, he will get her the help she needs or take the steps he needs to take to deal with the situation. I know that folks with an addiction need to help themselves, but often that doesn’t occur until family steps in.
Now the other thought that crossed my mind is that she may have early stages of dementia. In either case, another impartial doctor needs to examine her and make appropriate recommendations.
Good luck to you – my heart goes out to you and your family. This is a tough situation.
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Freud would say that your problems with girls could be because of your mum 🙂 I know, it’s sad and I’m truly sorry but I couldn’t help myself 🙂 I wish her all the best! Glad that you have some distance to that
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Oh I didn’t know that! Could be, I’ll need to dig into that. Thank you! I really think it’s time to take action, so let’s hope for the best.
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Shrinks always look for a possible childhood trauma first, I know that – I worked with them for pretty long 🙂
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Yeah I’ve been there too. I have some mommy issues, but I haven’t been there in a few years. $90 an hour? I could spend that on a girl in a bar hehe.
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I haven’t been there myself, I’m collaborating with psychiatrists occasionaly – just a job, so I have no idea about the prices haha but a girl might do wonders for that money, you’re probably right 😀
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haha I can tell you, they will do everything if you feed them $90 worth of booz.. 😉
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your mother is not your issue. either your father gets her assistance or not. it would be healthier for your brother if he left her if he is not going to force her to get help. you need to provide guidance to your brother. a mother like this creates long term damage on a scale and scope you can not fully appreciate unless you work through them with an appropriately educated person or a partner who is exceptionally empathetic.
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We are kind of in the situation where everybody knows what happening, but nobody is talking about it.. My dad is to sweet, he won’t send my mother off to some rehab center. I’ll keep you all posted
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Ignoring it doesn’t help. If it did, it would be fixed by now.
If your dad is her doctor and is ignoring her health issue, then he’s breaching his professional responsibility to his patient. If he doesn’t step up, then she should see a different doctor.
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He’s not her doctor, he is a docter. We tried it a lot of times, but it’s hard to get somebody help when they don’t want it, and deny the fact that there is a problem. Forcing it doesn’t help either..
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It’s so frustrating when family members lie to themselves about obvious unpleasant truths. I agree, you can’t force it. All you can do is take care of yourself.
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Yeah, it’s frustrating, I can tell you that. I’m trying! So far so good 😉
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I can totally relate to this, except that it was my father who was doing the drinking, and man, things used to turn ugly everyday, literally every fucking day, not because we ‘said something’; actually, we were strictly terrified of him, and the uncertainty of the hour, I mean, he could just start beating, or breaking things, and bla bla bla – Just saying.
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That sucks. Luckily for us it’s my mom, so we don’t need to be afraid of violence. Stupidity level is out of the roof though.. How did it end with your dad? Is it over now?
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Getting used to it, good thing is that he doesn’t get physical that much anymore; but the nasty words are still ongoing, it sucks, but have to live with it, :3
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Sounds familiar. Good luck, and hang in there! 🙂
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I’ve had many alcoholics in my life…I don’t judge you or your family for how they deal with it, and I’m not going to try to tell you what to do, I just hope things improve one way or another…
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Thanks for not judging. I hope it will improve. Only time will tell.
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My dad’s an alcoholic. This hit me so hard
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Sorry to hear that colorcode. Stay strong!
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you too. it’s the difficult things that make us stronger than the way we appear to be by others.
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Well said!
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